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[impersonation]

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K.SALVATORE

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[interpersonally]

To be fair, I haven't been given an update. I'm staying out of it. Unless he puts out another sex tape.

And in that case, I wouldn't rule out rehabilitation. Or an exorcism. We can recruit Jenevelle or Emmrich.

You think he released it?

An inspired idea.

[impersonation]

Well I'm not going to ask him. This guy looks too goody-two-shoes for anything more than a kiss on the back of the hand. Actually - I take it back. Someone might say the same thing about Damon, and he kisses a lot more than that.

What are we, in the 1800's, Stefan? No exorcisms. They probably just want money from desperate saps and that's the last thing we've ever been.

I wouldn't put it past him. You're the one who said he wanted attention.

I'm calling good cop. On the husband.

[interpersonally]

Please, Katherine, I'm also eating lunch.

( Across the cafeteria? Probably. Or, she finished and he arrived after. His eyes are cast downward. )

I thought you liked their saging.

He may be impulsive and promiscuous, but I draw the line at self-destructive enough to do that. He didn't.

Fine. I do menacing and unnerving better, anyway.

[impersonation]

Don't choke. Or do - you'd save me the effort of picking out an outfit when we get back to court.

I know someone better for it. Exorcisms aren't on his list though.

He may as well have at this point. Lucky for all of you, I've got Plan B and C in motion.

If that's what you want to tell yourself to sleep better, Stefan, be my guest.

[interpersonally]

Just be sure not to look like too much of a reverse engineered gold-digger at the funeral. Be sure to watch your hemline. A tasteful veil. And who can forget your come-fuck-me heels.

Really. Who?

And what do plans B and C entail.

I sleep fine, la mia vedova.

[impersonation]

You're giving an awful lot of thought to this, Stefan. Almost like you miss having those come-fuck-me heels around your shoulders.

August. You probably don't know him.

That's for me to know and you to catch on when I'm already at J.

[interpersonally]

I'd never pretend we weren't happy once, or satisfied. But, no, I'm not looking for a repeat performance.

August, Roza's current husband. Does exorcisms. How proud that makes me that he could be legally linked to our newfound sister.

Just make sure you don't embarrass your son in the process.

[impersonation]

Good. Neither would I.

[which part?? who can never be sure.]

I told you. Good Salvatore, bad Salvatore. His taste is in question at the moment.

No promises. He'd deserve it.

Ciao, il mio piccolo squartatore.

[interpersonally]

Then it's settled. We avoid mutually assured destruction.

You know what I think of the occult. I don't need a reason to like the man.

So would you, mio maledetto. 🩸

the next day, with a heavy sigh 2/2

[interpersonally]

And now the diver is back in the picture. Is our son on The Bachelor now?

[impersonation]

You know - him and the doctor, they're kind of a similar type. Long hair, looking unemployed...

He's playing a game, obviously. Don't tell me you thought whatever birthday lecture was a real heart-to-heart.

[interpersonally]

I know what he's trying to do. And I'm letting it happen. All the better for us to at least know who he's traipsing around with before he comes to his senses.

I remain in Hawkins corner. He's the only one of the three that has fire in him. Passione. He can hold his own on and off the court. The timing is insanity. He may actually be insane. But I'd rather he be with someone crazy about him and crazy than hired to distract us or used to annoy us.

[impersonation]

I doubt they're really traipsing around where it counts. Some clumsy rubbing it in our faces, like we were born yesterday.

Teo's going to fuck it up. Better hope this guy's ability to forgive is as strong as hitting balls.

[interpersonally]

I liked the touch of them having "fallen" into the lake during their picnic. And the light vandalism from the broken vase.

I do miss when he tried harder at gathering enough pigs blood to throw at the senator.

He's resilient. I like to believe our son understands the severity of breaking someone's heart. He watched us break each other's. And Guiseppe, ours.