impersonation | [SALTBURNT AU INBOX]

( It's obscene. But that's the Balfours for you. )

Venom this early in the day. And on holiday.

Neither of us like it when Damon is upstaged.

I have Teo covered.

( And maybe he'll get through to him. He'll even order him something with Mezcal. How he is either of their sons, he doesn't know, based on his taste in alcohol. )

Fine. I'll give you three minutes before you start to spoil my lunch. Tick-tock.

Do you really think I won't have Damon covered? Please. I've been working on something for weeks. And I don't care who feels left out. [fuck u jonty.]

And I hope by having Teo covered you mean clothed, watched, and not wandering off into some other man's bed. Or our vineyards.

(

)

Do you need my help with anything?

Regarding Damon.

Or on camera.

No, that wasn't in my birthday plans, but I could revise them. Really hammer home the point. Hire a proper filmmaker. Arthouse is still in, right?

No. I've got it handled. Just make sure you get him a good gift. Say, 51% of the business?

Did you watch it? He's a whore, Stefan. No remorse.

He's lucky we didn't send him off to rehab, which - honestly, is still a great idea, even if you won't consider it.

If Guiseppe wanted him to have 51% percent of the business, then he would've given him 51% of the business, don't you think? You and I both know how decisive he was.

He doesn't have a drinking problem, Katherine. He wants attention.

And no. I didn't watch it. Frankly, I'm a little surprised you took the time. Or, that you care at all. You really pick and choose.

As his brother you should know better than anyone that Giuseppe would have given it away piece by piece to anyone but Damon out of spite. Including that little opportunistic skank pretending to be your new sister.

Ugh, as if. I didn't either, but it's hard to miss when it's plastered over...oh, just about every home page.

They do have rehab for sex addicts, Stefano. Close enough.

He's a sex addict now.

I'd ask if this expert-level diagnosis is coming from personal experience

If Damon wants any percentage of the business, he should be coming to me himself. Not sending my soon-to-be ex-wife to grovel for his scraps.

( he needs to step the fuck up. he owns half of their bourbon business, is that not enough? )

Roza is about shock value, not family.

( as it is... )

Are the two of them still giggling together on their Facetimes?

This isn't the first time he's fucked someone inappropriate and you know it. It's just the most publicly embarrassing for us.

There's a difference between being blindingly in love and needing the other half of your soul every second possible, twined together, hot, toned bodies colliding...oh. Sorry, you wouldn't remember because it was never like that for us.

He's not going to beg for scraps. And since you want to do this the hard way - neither am I. I'll see you in court.

Insufferably. I keep telling him not to get attached until the DNA test is finalized, but he won't listen.

The only reason we're even discussing who he has or hasn't fucked is because it's front page news. For your information, before this, your son was in love.

( our son. but, he needs to twist that. your. he's yours too.

was Hawkins in love with Teo? he assumes, being approached, that it was mutual. mutual enough for the boy to make an effort. he heard him out, anyway. the guy had guts. came to him and everything. but not to Katherine. it felt real and sounded messy. he didn't exactly give his blessing, but he didn't shoo him off either. )

I'm not going to pretend I know what's going through our son's head, but I thought he was pretty close to something. I was wrong. I won't be again.

Edited 2025-06-01 21:34 (UTC)

He always did live and die by the idea of family.

I don't like her either.

Not with that drab little doctor that was hanging off his every word, he wasn't.

[sigh, fine, yes, she does pay attention to things. not out of love or real care, but - insurance? protecting the family in some way? whatever.]

...Who? And why on earth would they be in love with an immature brat like Teo?

Though - it would at least be good PR to have him seem like he's dating someone instead of fucking the first available man twice his age who looks his way and tainting our Sangiovese supply.

Spill it. Do I need to do some meddling?

[well. at least they still have some common ground. it's hard to outright hate stefan when things like this come up.]

Have you told him that? Coming from me - he thinks I'm jealous that it's taking away time from us. Which isn't entirely untrue, but I know when I see a ploy.

( Stefan didn't know it was still possible to take his breath away. Hit him hard, and then spin it. Operate.

The first part, he chuckles at. No, not the doctor, god not the doctor. They really do have to stop requiring his presence at charity events...

The second part sets his jaw. He raised him to be an immature brat. Right? And then she spins a second later - her Lady Macbeth machinations turning like a grind of gears. It makes his head spin.

There's a fire there he misses when it's in tandem with his. But he'd never admit it. And they both want to do well by Teo. Even if her want is deeper down. )

He's at least younger than Dr. Goodsir.

( but not by much. )

Hawkins Fuller. The tennis phenom. Remind me if he coached Teo at one point, because I can't find the connection beyond, some event or another. He practically asked for his hand in marriage. It caught me off guard. I think he thought it was "traditional" and "old school," but where I come from, you meet the parents prior.

I did everything but give my blessing. The ball was in his court, as it were.

I hate to think that whatever Hawkins attempted drove Teo into someone else's arms. And that video better not be them celebrating their newfound union.

I don't know what I'd hate more.

( and she can go to her own son. ask him questions. but no, she should not meddle.

as for damon and their soap opera. )

I told him to hold the line, to present a united front. And then he all but melted in his seat. I think he thinks she's adorable. And secretly, he always wanted a sister to dote on, like it's filling some sick fantasy.

I'll talk to him, too.

She's coming, by the way. As is her husband, who I'm going to get to know. Anything she isn't telling us, he might.

[she'd never admit it, but it's times like this she maybe, just a very tiny of a sliver of a percentage - misses stefan. it's the rush of someone being able to keep step with her, to know exactly how vicious to be and come to the same conclusions she does instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt. but that's exactly why her sweet damon is the better half: because he's not nearly so conniving or capable of coming up with the same things that protect this family - all of them. he's more content to sit back and take it as it comes, to be the first to give someone the shirt off his back. it's why katherine can be bitch enough for them both.

still - there's a little bit of a twinge. a thrill maybe.

but pause: googling this guy.]

Ooh. He looks delicious. If he's passing up on that he's even more immature than I thought.

Between you and me, there's no way that video is recent. All the drinking and partying - Teo's been slacking on his skincare. And those barrels - the ones in the back. We sold them months ago. Whatever game he's playing - it's not a very good one.

...Thank you.

Husband. Hmmm. Should we try good Salvatore, bad Salvatore?

To be fair, I haven't been given an update. I'm staying out of it. Unless he puts out another sex tape.

And in that case, I wouldn't rule out rehabilitation. Or an exorcism. We can recruit Jenevelle or Emmrich.

You think he released it?

An inspired idea.

Well I'm not going to ask him. This guy looks too goody-two-shoes for anything more than a kiss on the back of the hand. Actually - I take it back. Someone might say the same thing about Damon, and he kisses a lot more than that.

What are we, in the 1800's, Stefan? No exorcisms. They probably just want money from desperate saps and that's the last thing we've ever been.

I wouldn't put it past him. You're the one who said he wanted attention.

I'm calling good cop. On the husband.

Edited 2025-06-02 00:28 (UTC)

Please, Katherine, I'm also eating lunch.

( Across the cafeteria? Probably. Or, she finished and he arrived after. His eyes are cast downward. )

I thought you liked their saging.

He may be impulsive and promiscuous, but I draw the line at self-destructive enough to do that. He didn't.

Fine. I do menacing and unnerving better, anyway.

Don't choke. Or do - you'd save me the effort of picking out an outfit when we get back to court.

I know someone better for it. Exorcisms aren't on his list though.

He may as well have at this point. Lucky for all of you, I've got Plan B and C in motion.

If that's what you want to tell yourself to sleep better, Stefan, be my guest.

Just be sure not to look like too much of a reverse engineered gold-digger at the funeral. Be sure to watch your hemline. A tasteful veil. And who can forget your come-fuck-me heels.

Really. Who?

And what do plans B and C entail.

I sleep fine, la mia vedova.

You're giving an awful lot of thought to this, Stefan. Almost like you miss having those come-fuck-me heels around your shoulders.

August. You probably don't know him.

That's for me to know and you to catch on when I'm already at J.

I'd never pretend we weren't happy once, or satisfied. But, no, I'm not looking for a repeat performance.

August, Roza's current husband. Does exorcisms. How proud that makes me that he could be legally linked to our newfound sister.

Just make sure you don't embarrass your son in the process.

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